Thoughts with the windows down

There is something about the weather today - that beautiful sunny, warm, slightly breezy air that makes me think back to this time last year. I've been trying to process what it is that I miss about Alabama exactly and I think overall my time down south represents something comfortable, familiar and easy. While I was no doubt adjusting to new classes and professors, I had my classmates that were my friends and my comfort zone. I've kept in contact with some classmates (some better than others) but it's not the same.

This time last year, deployment was not on the horizon, and my main purpose was being a good student, fiance, and the occasional wedding planning. I'm not dissatisfied with my current situation but it sure is a little uncomfortable. I'm working through a lot of newness and still haven't found my swing of things yet. I miss knowing what's expected of me so to speak and what I need to do to fulfill that purpose.

I'm quite confident that starting a job will be greatly beneficial for my sanity, sense of self and overall well being. Like many people I like a least something that looks like it could be a routine. Too much routine becomes boring.. but if I'm analyzing myself accurately, I think I feel like I have all of these loose pieces and I'm not sure what to do with them or where they go exactly or how they fit together.

I find myself getting into a pattern and slight sense of normal and then something happens and it feels like all of that changes and I have to readjust. Mike has shared an expression with me that they use in the military, super gumby, meaning always flexible and ready for change. Turns out, this applies to military wives as well. I love my husband and am so glad we're married and I'm thrilled at every chance I get to spend with him, but right now I'm just kinda a day to day, super gumby girl.