Thoughts on Deployment

Before Mike got back from deployment I had intended to blog about my thoughts and experiences. It was important to me to document the year and share pictures to prove to myself that the year was not just "lost". Once he came home it seemed like the year was a blur because I could so easily remember the year before when he was home and what we had done that past fall. In some ways it almost felt like he was never gone.

What a really strange feeling. This made me want to do this post even more to really pay tribute to those experiences that filled the year of deployment and recognize those people that were around and helped me get through. As one can expect after a 1 yr + of separation, time past and reconnecting and spending time together was the priority and I didn't make the time to think through the deployment and post those pictures. 

Now I find myself with time and before I'm back to being a working lady I want to take that time. From October 2010 to October 2011, my year in pictures:

1. Oct. 8, 2010 - the day Mike left for Texas and official start of deployment

2. Oct. 8, 2010  - goodbye kiss. talk about heartbreaking. I can put myself there so quickly and it's just a sad, lonely, heartbreaking feeling.

3. Oct. 16, 2010 - bridal shower for Jenna, spouse of Mike's best friend Drew

4. Oct. 30, 2010 - with the in laws at Drew and Jenna's wedding. I remember this being very hard for a number of reasons. It was the first wedding since our own and the first "couple" type event I had to go to solo, it was the wedding of Mike's best friend and Mike wasn't there to celebrate, and it was so close to when Mike had left! Felt weird not to be together.

5. Nov. 27, 2010 - after Thanksgiving break, back at the airport for another goodbye. Walking back to the car alone that afternoon was an experience.

6. Dec. 4, 2010 - my brother (left) played at local bar and rocked it! Proud sister moment!

7. Dec. 22, 2010 - reunion for Christmas break

8. Dec. 26, 2010 - last day of Christmas break, before heading to the airport. The last time I saw him before he actually went to Iraq. This was a scary goodbye.

February was a busy month! It was so wonderful to get to see roommates and sorority sisters from undergrad!

9. Feb. 11, 2011 - UE roommate reunion in Chicago

10. Feb. 11, 2011 - fun at the bean in Chicago with "the roomies"

11. Feb. 14, 2011 - Valentine's card from Mike - Mike was really great about sending flowers, cards and gifts during the deployment. Such a sweet guy!

12. Feb. 18, 2011 - Shanelle's bachelorette party in Florida

13. Feb. 26, 2011 - painting at Cheers to Art with Enny

14. March 5, 2011 - make your own sushi cooking class with my army wife friend Melissa - a gift from our husbands (they deployed together)

15. March 17, 2011 - St Patrick's day with Enny! 

16. March 28, 2011 - celebrating Enny's bday @ Steak & Shake

17. April 9, 2011 - Shanelle's wedding - weddings are hard when your loved one is far, far away (and in danger!). I remember getting emotional during the dancing part of the wedding and missing my favorite dancing partner. 

18. April 23, 2011 - Dying Easter eggs with Enny and Mevy

19. April 23, 2011 - Easter Egg fun! Spent the night and enjoyed fun girl time with Enny and Mevy

20. May 14, 2011 - Girls trip to Chicago! Mom and I met up with Annette and her mom! A perfect distraction around Mike and my 1st wedding anniversary!

21. May 30, 2011 - Iraq Pack parade on Memorial Day

22. May 30, 2011 - big beers with father in law after the parade

23. June 4, 2011 - Andrea's (sorority sister) wedding - fun to see sisters that I hadn't seen since graduation!

24. June 11, 2011 - In the stands with Mevy and Enny at my brother's graduation

25. July 2, 2011 - with Melissa @ Red, White, & Bluegrass- fundraiser to support Iraq Pack. So thankful that we became close friends! A huge blessing!

26. July 22, 2011 - during Mike's R&R - family dinner out @ Sammy's

27. July 25, 2011 - back at the airport at end of R&R - last goodbye before he came home for good!

28. Aug. 18, 2011 - Cheers to Art with mom!

29. Sept. 16, 2011 - Nancy's wedding weekend - thanks to lively groomsmen and friends I danced the night away and didn't feel so lonely! I also shared a hotel room with Shanelle and her husband. It was great spending that time with them!

30. Sept. 17, 2011 - Phi Mus during wedding BBQ

31. Oct. 9, 2011 - he's home! for good!!

32. Oct. 9, 2011 - so happy to be together again!!

Wow! I really did a lot! And there are so many other things that didn't get documented by photo. Many dinners with family, sushi dates with Melissa, bonding with the brother and sister in law - basically a year of good times spent with family and friends. Can you believe he has been home 7 months? I can't! That's amazing to me.

While the majority of our first year of marriage was apart, that year of marriage is and will always be our first year of marriage. We had different experiences than typical couples and had the opportunity to work on aspects of ourselves and our relationship that would not have presented themselves this early on had it not been for the deployment. So many opportunities to learn and grow.

Would I do it over again? That's not a reasonable question! Neither of us wanted this to happen, and if another deployment was avoidable we both would be very happy! I would certainly marry Mike all over again - he's completely worth going through mess so that we can be together. I pray that we do not have to experience another deployment during the remainder of his commitment to the Army, but only time will tell. What I do know is that I can, and we can survive.

 Thank you for your support.

May 1st!

To me, this just feels crazy. Last year May was SUCH a BIG month - graduation, moving, wedding, honeymoon, birthday! Wowzer. I would be lying if I said I wasn't hesitant going it solo this year- although I know I have the support of friends and family. It's just kind of .. daunting.

This time last year graduation was a week away, and the wedding a week and 1 day after that! There was so much excitement and hustle and bustle and last minute planning - oh my!

This year, the new class of MSWs will not have a graduation due to the horrific tornadoes that devastated the south last week, causing graduation to be postponed until August.. man. That's a hard thing to sort through.

It's hard not to be pensive at the very least. I just can't believe it's been a year! I've been so busy counting down my deployment calendar that the "length of time we've been married" calendar has taken a backseat - although always in the back of my mind. I guess because the year of deployment mark has a handful of months left, it's shocking that our anniversary is just around the corner!

I'm guessing the key will be to stay busy (as usual) and skype/email with husband as much as possible! I have a Chicago trip coming up that I'm very much looking forward to, and a bunch of family dinners - including the always anticipated "birthday palooza" where we cram 3 birthdays in at once! ..Spring/ summer is a busy birthday time in my family! A palooza just makes sense.

Early June I'll be heading to a wedding in Evansville, IN and get to see some great friends and sorority sisters that I haven't seen in 4-5 years! It'll be great! And then little brother FINALLY gets to graduate from his crazy, rigorous college program! That will be a huge celebration! .. and before I know it, it'll be halfway through June and the time left of deployment will be shrinking!

I'm going to try to be that girl that people are like "oh she handles this so well!" and if I'm not, well, I have one hell of an excuse! :)

Happy May y'all!

P.S. If those April showers don't bring May flowers, somebody is going to have a talkin' to! 

weekend = success!

YAY!! Love getting to talk to husband on the weekends (even if his face is kinda fuzzy looking!)! :) :)

Happy lovers day!

I survived! You know, leading up to today I was worried about how it would feel to spend our first Valentine's Day as husband and wife apart from each other, but it went by! I realized last night that we all have choices about how we respond to our circumstances. I could have spent all day today being sad and depressed that we are apart, or I could be thankful for all the joy and blessings that this man, my husband, has brought to my life.

Thankfully my mind and heart went on the positive outlook and that's how my day turned out! Y'all - I didn't even cry! No tears when my coworkers sincerely asked how I was holding up today. Truth is, I love my husband and want to celebrate our love today, even from a distance! 

Babe, if you read this, you are my person, the love of my life and I'm so glad we said "I do." I will be thankful when this year of separation comes to an end, but know that I'm surviving today and working towards a mindset of thriving! 

xoxox.

quotable husband

I have to share this cuteness with you and then it's time to get out of work clothes and into some pjs. Maybe multiple pairs of pjs pants! It's frickin frigid outside!!!

Background: Today at work I got another 20 clients!!!!!! I've been pretty bored lately and am very eager to get to a full case load. I'm proud to announce I'm up to 94 (a full case load is around 120)!! Not only do I feel proud of myself for being ready to take on so many clients after only 3 months, but I'm hoping it will help keep me busy!!

Anyway, in going through my new client list, I discover I have gained a "unique" client to my case load. Please see following conversation (via text messages) between me and the hubs:

Me: I just got a new client that is a hoarder in remission!
Husband: Yeah? Do they have neat stuff?

BAHAHAHA!!

(later)
Husband: Well, it's a valid question!

He's such a cutie. LOVE him!

3am picture from yesterday. "Bless his heart!"

It's Winter!!

All of a sudden winter has arrived!! Looking at our wedding pictures from the last post makes it hard to believe that it's December and Christmas is around the corner!! I'm going to add a few songs to the Listening page to get us in the spirit, so check them out!!

Husband and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving! It really was better to be expected and I'm so THANKFUL that he got to come HOME!!! YAY! YAY! YAY!!! It was a short visit, but just what I needed! It's these kind of "visits" that are perfect reminders of why we got married, when my vision and thoughts get clouded by the stress of military separation. I love him! "He completes me!" Haha - I always had issues with  this line from Jerry Maguire sorting through the sweetness of it with the "I'm independent, I don't need no man to complete me!" He's the peanut butter to my jelly! In some ways we are so different but we balance each other out and make once yummy sandwich! ;) Sadly I don't have any adorable pictures of us from Thanksgiving, but I'm sure mom does, so when I get them I'll post!

The one picture I took of husband - right before he left to go back south :(

Some of you know, but we bought our first ever Christmas tree!!!! We had no intention of going out on black Friday, but we did and it was fun!! Of course, we waited until a reasonable hour to leave the house, so that may have been part of it!! It's a 7ft fake tree and I'm really happy with it!! It was easy for him to assemble and we quickly tossed lights on it! Friday night we put up all our ornaments while watching Elf! How fun is that? I had no idea if we would need more ornaments to make the tree feel full, but it looks great! Room for more, but no need for me to go out now and put some on so the tree doesn't feel naked!!

SNOW!!! (taken this morning!)

Once I charge the battery on my good camera (not cell phone) I'll take some other pictures of our tree! Mike and I have followed in his parents footsteps and started a tradition of purchasing an ornament on vacation. We don't have many, but it's really neat to see the few that we have and talk about our trip - "oh that is when we ended up in Destin when your car broke down!" and of course we have a couple of ornaments from our honeymoon! It's fun!

Yesterday I went to Bath & Body Works and used a coupon to get a "Wallflower" aka air freshener plug in in the scent "Fresh Balsam" - it is so yummy and makes up for not having a real tree!!! A must get, in my opinion for the fellow fake Christmas tree supporters!

The one picture I did take of husband - right before heading back at the end of our wonderful time together. :(

Well I have lots more I could update, but I'll share those random thoughts in a different post! Happy Winter!

6 Months!!

Another Army wife told me her way of surviving deployment is to celebrate anything you can so you have something to look forward to and be happy about. Today marks our 6 month wedding anniversary!! Hard to believe it's been 6 months! It has flown!! I love my husband so much and am becoming more proud of him each day!!! It hasn't been an easy 6 months with being apart more than we have been together, but I figure we're learning right up front skills that will enrich our marriage for years to come! Is that cliche? Well whatever!

Here are a few (from the 1,000+) of my favorite pictures from the day thanks to Megan W!! Enjoy!

Flight to Texas

 

on the ground!



a great picture!!!!



He's home!!!!!!

Mike made it in last night around 8:00!! It's so great to have him home!!! I get him for a full two weeks before he's off to the next part of "training". It's like we're actually married! Good times.

It's wonderful knowing that he actually gets to stay for an extended period of time so I don't have to worry about trying to plan everything so we do everything we should! Last night, for example, we decided that we would just be lazy all of today - can't remember the last time we truly got to be lazy together! Got groceries and snacks and are planning on watching football all day! No rushing around or going from place to place to fit in visits! I couldn't be happier! This way too, when we do visit with people it won't be as rushed as usual! Looove it!

I picked up a few magazines to look through and Mike is playing xbox before the game starts. The best part is we get to sit next to each other! I know this is silly, but man do I miss it! I like that we can be doing our own thing but still be together. It's perfect.

Hope your weekend is off to a good start!

Roll Tide!

quick update!

'ello there! Day two of work = success! As I told my mom earlier, I at least don't feel like the bus hit me as hard today! Yesterday was waaaaaay overwhelming and info overload and today was so much better! I actually get to go on a home visit tomorrow! Not for my own client, but it will be nice to do some non-orienting stuff!

Mike got to come home Monday night and left this morning. It was so great to come home to him from work on my first day!! The sweetie that he is, he bought me be-a-utiful fall flowers that look lovely on our kitchen table! They are gorgeous shades of oranges and yellows! Love! And he took me out to dinner for thai, which provided yummy left overs for dinner tonight! I sure do love that man (and not just because he buys me flowers and thai! haha!)!!

I'll try to post more later this week, but wanted to direct your attention to my favorite wedding photographer's most recent post on her blog! The couple clearly has their own sense of style and I think it's pretty fun!!

Thoughts with the windows down

There is something about the weather today - that beautiful sunny, warm, slightly breezy air that makes me think back to this time last year. I've been trying to process what it is that I miss about Alabama exactly and I think overall my time down south represents something comfortable, familiar and easy. While I was no doubt adjusting to new classes and professors, I had my classmates that were my friends and my comfort zone. I've kept in contact with some classmates (some better than others) but it's not the same.

This time last year, deployment was not on the horizon, and my main purpose was being a good student, fiance, and the occasional wedding planning. I'm not dissatisfied with my current situation but it sure is a little uncomfortable. I'm working through a lot of newness and still haven't found my swing of things yet. I miss knowing what's expected of me so to speak and what I need to do to fulfill that purpose.

I'm quite confident that starting a job will be greatly beneficial for my sanity, sense of self and overall well being. Like many people I like a least something that looks like it could be a routine. Too much routine becomes boring.. but if I'm analyzing myself accurately, I think I feel like I have all of these loose pieces and I'm not sure what to do with them or where they go exactly or how they fit together.

I find myself getting into a pattern and slight sense of normal and then something happens and it feels like all of that changes and I have to readjust. Mike has shared an expression with me that they use in the military, super gumby, meaning always flexible and ready for change. Turns out, this applies to military wives as well. I love my husband and am so glad we're married and I'm thrilled at every chance I get to spend with him, but right now I'm just kinda a day to day, super gumby girl.

1 week!

I start my first ever big girl job in 1 week!! Let the wild rumpus begin!!! ;) Nah, gonna keep it cool!! I'm hosting a family birthday / anniversary party for the in-laws tomorrow night so I'll have an excuse to get the apartment in pretty good shape which always helps my outlook! Wouldn't mind playing dress up later in the week to put together a few outfits and then will need to get lunch food to pack and yeah! the end! So excited to learn more about what to expect!! I have no clue how much orientation I will have to endure, but I can probably guarantee it will be a faster process than at the VA!

I had a great weekend in Kentucky visiting the husband! Proportionately I spent more time without him than with him (as he had to work all weekend), but it was worth it! I was talking to him the other day about how every now and then someone on facebook will have a status about how she has to be apart from her husband for the weekend and how she just doesn't know how she will ever deal with it... I'm looking forward to being in that situation in the future! Getting to spend the majority of my time with him and finding it strange when he has to go for the weekend. That feels like a looong way away, but mostly because I'm so sucked into the reality of the here and now. Anywho, something to look forward to! :)

A lot of people wonder what our future looks like! I do too, believe me! We really have no way of knowing. We've talked about when he is back to take that opportunity to move to a town / state of our own. We discussed the west coast and parts of Tennessee.. but that is so much up in the air! I would like to say that at some point, for at least a year or two, we'll move away, but that may not happen either. His career goals are still in the working / formulating stages, so a lot will depend on how that shapes up. One thing that we know we want to do is go on a second honeymoon! Not only is it fun to think about and eventually start to plan, but a getaway will be much needed after time apart.

I don't have any pictures from this weekend to share, so how about some of the cats! ;)

We buy her toys.... but she loves paper bags and twist ties!

The fivvy girl!

OK! That's it for now! Coffee cup is empty, so that must mean it's time for my butt to start moving!

Almost weekly ramblings?

Hello readers!! Boy was I kidding myself thinking I would be posting almost daily! Almost a week has gone by and I have much to blog about! I just heated up leftover morning coffee and put on some yummy, relaxing tunes and am settling in for a relaxing Sunday afternoon! But let's back up.

This past Wednesday was a confusing day. I attended a funeral for a girl that I went to church with when I was younger. She was two years younger than me and in the same school distract. Sadly, we learned that she committed suicide. This is such a devastating thing to sort through and I'm not even family, nor did I know her well. I remember that she had a rough time in high school and even got poisoned once by evil classmates in retaliation for turning them in for something. Thinking back on this horrible thing angers me! High school is such a rough time for so many people and emotions are just crazy! I can't help but wonder what effect this event had for her..

All of this reawakens my passion and dream for working with young women in high school and trying to help them sort through the mess and drama and emotions of high school. I feel like my future work passions go in many directions- wanting to work with the mentally ill, women/ young women, individuals with self-esteem / eating disorder concerns, veterans, older adults... I guess it is a good thing that I have so many interests! But seriously, I want to march my fancy MSW self into local high schools and educate (and mentally shake my finger at mean kids) about what is going on - on so many different levels. I once had someone tell me that if you want to work in the high schools/ or with that age group in a counseling capacity it is better to do it sooner rather than later as soon I'll lose my ability to relate? Not sure how valid that is, but for the time being I have a different career route set up.. more on that later!

Back to Wednesday being confusing. So the funeral was Wednesday morning/ afternoon and left me with feelings and emotions of anger, frustration, sadness, empathy, confusion.. etc. Wednesday night the husband came home!! The last time I saw him was July 25.. so over three weeks! How exciting!! Fortunately I had time after the funeral to do some last minute cleaning and pick up some boy food! Mike was home for two full days and left Saturday morning. Everything about our time together was just perfect! Visited with both sets of parents, date night, and just good quality us time.

Unfortunately we didn't get any good pictures of the two of us, but love this of my man!! <3

Thursday I had an interview with the local Council On Aging. It went really, really well, and am pleased to announce that they called the next day with a job offer!! I'm hoping to firm up some details tomorrow and make it official! So excited!! My start date is Sept. 7 which really is great timing. I will wait until everything is finalized to tell you more about it and the program and what I will be doing!!

I am so in the habit of labeling what I talk about on my blog with pictures... so to add to your reading pleasure.. the COA logo!! ;)

This morning I went to church and was blessed with hearing a great sermon! I love when preachers focus on a passage (this morning it was Hebrews 13:1-6) and break it down and makes application points. While the service at this church does not have the liturgy I am so familiar with, it is nice to go to a church with young, passionate people who gather to serve the Lord! Verse 5 and 6 particularly resonated with me "..be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" The preacher repeated a few times "He is with us", "He is sufficient". Good stuff!

OK I feel like this is getting super lengthy! Thanks for staying with me! I'll post a few more random thoughts I want to share within the next few days!

3 months!!

Happy 3 month anniversary to me and my hubby!!! YAY! Here is one of my favorite wedding pictures to help celebrate today!

It was a good weekend - it really flew bye! Friday I accompanied my mom to the outlet mall. We found a lot of great deals and many things that I want to come back for once I have a job and a little extra income! For dinner we went to my new favorite sports bar, Sammy's, for dinner and then to the free local summer concert! It was SO hot outside that it was a pretty miserable experience - oh well!! Good company at least with with Mom and Dad Moran and Seagram!

Saturday was pretty low key, I think? I watched the movie The Other Boleyn Girl and FINISHED my crochet project!! Can you believe it?? In total it was probably more like 10 hours than 5, but it went pretty quickly!! I will post a picture once I put together a fall outfit to wear it with! :) :)

Sunday my cousin, her husband, and two kids stopped in at my parent's house on their way back to Canada so we spent a good part of the day with them before they were back on the road! The have a daughter who is 3 and a 6 month old baby girl!! The kids were very cute!! This isn't the best picture, but it's me and Kristina (yay for a Kristina that spells it the right way!).

I also went back to the church I went to last weekend. Once again I loved the worship, but the head pastor was just getting back from a 3 month sabbatical and was talking about that mostly. Will have to go back and see what a "typical" Sunday looks like!

I've been feeling guilty for not posting any pictures of Fiv! So here are a few! :)

OK I need to get on with my day! Have a great day!!

Mike's pictures!

Mike sent a bunch of pictures the past 2 days! Enjoy!

Waiting to go..

Mike's "office for the day"

The gunner

This pic is from this morning. Mike said, "It's dusty today so I gotta look gangsta!" HAHAH!

Midweek update!

Happy Wednesday!! *yawn* still working on my coffee!!

Exciting news! I have a meeting / interview with a psych temp agency today! The lady told me to come in to get processed assuming that I will be starting work soon! Well who knows how soon that will really be, but I'm thrilled to feel like I'm making progress, even if it just ends up being a temp job! I'm really toying with that line of NEEDING a job before I go insane, so this is good timing! Some jobs they offer are "full time, temp to hire", so that's what I'm hoping for. I've had good luck in the past working as a temp (although with a different agency) so I'm pretty excited!

I still have not heard back from the people I had my interview with 2 weeks ago - called to follow up this Monday and haven't heard anything... The job openings are starting to be less and less. I think this week I've only been able to find a handful to apply for.

Last week I went to a new church out by where I live! I really think I could like it! There are a lot of young people and it seems entirely possible that it would be easy to get involved and feel at home! Hoping to go back this week! This is the same church that I will be attending a bible study in September.

What else! I have read 3 of the 4 Twilight books! So crazy - I never thought I'd get into them! I'm picking up the 4th and final book tonight and will probably have it read by the weekend!! In between book 3 and 4 I started Eat, Pray, Love in anticipation of the moving coming out! I'm only a little bit into it, but so far am enjoying!!

Mike comes "home" in a week!!! YAY! Haven't figured out arrangements but you better believe I will drive the two hours to get to him as soon as possible! He seems to be doing well from what I hear - I think he is having a hard time sleeping which never helps things and is feeling bored a lot. Earlier this week or late last week they did a "humvee roll over training":

Not really sure what all it entails, but sounds fun! Mike isn't in the above picture, but he sent.. well whatever the heck this thing is! Below is Mike in his typical daily garb! Can only imagine how hot all that gear is!

Yesterday they were kicking doors down and clearing houses and fun activities like that!

Cats are both doing fine! Fiv has seemed to healed from whatever the heck that thing was called! Thank goodness!! Amelia had her 2nd birthday yesterday! Here are two pictures of baby Amelia soon after we got her in Alabama!! Sooooo tiny!!

Ok! That's it for now - gotta get in working lady mode!